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Why Chugging a Fifth of Jack is a Bad Idea

First, let’s get one thing straight: this does not just apply to Jack Daniels, chugging a fifth of any alcohol is a terrible idea.

People have been chugging alcohol since alcohol has existed, it’s a very human thing to do. Not the chugging, but the idea of pushing things to the limits.

We can’t just smoke a joint, we need a 3 foot tall bong that will deliver an entire bag of weed in a single hit. Enjoy a few cups of beer at a frat party? No way, tonight it’s keg stands.

Really we approach everything this way; how fast can we drive, how high can we jump, I see people doing “ultra” marathons, because running 26.2 miles is not enough.

With all this in mind, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to see a video on Youtube of a guy drinking a fifth of Jack Daniels in 13 seconds. You don’t have to be a doctor to know that this is dangerous, but I was left with some more technical questions about what the exact risk were, and how that much booze, that fast effects the human body.

Lucky for me, and now you, Slate Magazine has created a video walking us through the exact health risks that come to be in those 13 seconds:

No big surprises really. The take-away is, don’t down a bottle of booze, no matter your body mass or how much you had to eat that day.

Watching this video reminded me of a similar experience I had in San Francisco once. A homeless guys walked up to me on the street, already pretty drunk, and stood about 8 inches from my face. After a little stand-off on who would flinch, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cheap plastic bottle of vodka. He unscrewed the cap and proceeded to down the whole bottle. He let out a bit of a whooo sound, spiked the bottle on the sidewalk (I think he forgot it was plastic), so instead of a dramatic glass shattering, the plastic bottle awkwardly bounced off into the street. We locked eyes for a minute, I was think how odd this guy was, I’m not sure what he was thinking. Then, like an old Looney Tunes cartoon, he fell straight backwards. Almost as if the breeze coming up the street knocked him over.

It was pretty astonishing. It got worse from there; obviously he hit his head on the sidewalk, started bleeding, was passed out. An ambulance came and he came to, tried to fight everyone. Looking back, I think that was all to be expected when someone pounds a bottle like that.

Anyways, drinking that much is dangerous. Please don’t do it. If you are sober, please don’t start drinking.

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